We often forget that we created money. In fact, we invented it so that we wouldn't have to deal with a confusing barter system for sharing goods and resources. But somewhere along the way, we got off that purpose line, and money is now used to control, dominate, hold back and marginalize people.
No matter what economic sector you belong to, language you speak or country you live in, you know someone who has collapsed their self-worth with how much money they have. Someone who isn't speaking to others because of money quarrels. Someone who spends their waking and sleeping hours worrying about money. Or gives money more meaning than human life. That someone might even be you.
I had the privilege of meeting Lynne Twist, a global activist and fundraiser, and hear her speak about reclaiming the wealth of our inner resources and transforming our relationship to money. Her book, The Soul of Money, is really about our own soul and how and why we often eclipse it, dismiss it or compromise it in our relationship with money.
Here, she shares with us the 3 Toxic Myths most of us have around money:
- The Myth of Scarcity. Beginning early on with the child's game of "musical chairs", we are taught over and over again that there's not enough and we have to fight to get our share of anything. We continue this trend today as adults, with reality shows like Survivor where only the most aggressive and often, sneaky contestants win.
- The Myth of More is Better. We don't have a relationship with "enough". Only "more". We get bombarded with 30,000 messages a day that we are not tall, thin, young or successful enough. That we need "more" to be complete.
- The Myth of "that's just the way it is". This is the worst myth of all, because it has us be resigned. To live life unconsciously and lead a life unexamined. This is why we are not building homes for the homeless, but instead building entire buildings for self-storage purposes - to house more of our stuff.
From the time we wake up in the morning, we start our day thinking from a lens of scarcity. "I didn't get enough sleep!" we say to ourselves. Then we rush around our day because there is not enough time, not enough clients, not enough money, not enough vacations. Then just before we go to sleep, we say to ourselves, "I didn't get enough done!" It's a vicious cycle that is easy to perpetuate. And we don't even realize we do it.
Lynne, who says her best coach was Mother Teresa, believes the antidote to these myths lay in moving from the You or Me paradigm of scarcity, to the You AND Me paradigm of sufficiency. Where we live - and succeed - at no one else's expense.
What would it be like if you lived in the distinction of sufficiency? Where your perception is that there is enough to go around. You have enough, and you ARE enough.
It's interesting that businesses and the media used to call us citizens - one who takes responsibility for the well-being of the community. And now we are called consumers - one who takes, destroys, depletes or diminishes. Consumption used to be a horrible disease. Now we're supposed to do it everyday. It's frightening that language can make us who we are. That's who we become.
At this time of year when the retailers are gearing up for your holiday shopping dollars, stop and think about your beliefs and values around money. What are you really buying? Or buying into? Take stock of what your beliefs and fears are around money and remember that what you spend your money on, reflects your personal values.
I wish everyone a holiday season full of love, family, friends - and sufficiency.
Do the Try It Out exercises in the sidebar to help you look at your relationship with money
"When you let go of what you don't really need, it frees up oceans of energy to make a difference with what you already have. When you make a difference with what you have, it expands. And your needs are met over and over again."
- Lynne Twist
